The story of a second-time mama who decided to have a natural birth following the medicated birth of her first child.

Teddy was born at 39 weeks and 1 day. Well, he was almost born at 35 weeks but decided to stay in there a little longer! 

At 35 weeks and 6 days I went in for a routine appointment (somehow my appointments got shifted a little in their timing at this point in the pregnancy) so anyway, this was supposed to be the final ultrasound appointment and I could tell by our interaction with the ultrasound tech something wasn’t ideal. When we saw our OB, she explained that my amniotic fluid had gotten too low. We weren’t at the immediate danger level yet but protocol was to induce me right away had it been one day later (putting me at 36 weeks). Since it wasn’t yet an emergency but required urgent attention she gave me the option of a hospital stay for fluids and another ultrasound to see if we could increase the levels that way first, knowing I wanted to avoid induction if possible. With the understanding that if they didn’t rise, it would necessitate an induction. 

So we gave that a try, walking next door to the hospital and getting checked in right away. I chugged water, was given many bags of fluid through IV and the mounting stress of the past few months spilled out in a lot of tears as I was forced to slow down. I was scared. Darrell was scared. We cried and prayed together before they wheeled us down to the ultrasound the following morning, trying to brace ourselves for what we thought was an induction hours ahead of us. But God had a different plan for Teddy and the amniotic fluid level had more than doubled in that time, meaning I was free to go home and stay the course of my birth plan. We were so surprised, relieved, and ready to make changes in my stress level over the following weeks as we waited for baby’s arrival. I had a follow up ultrasound a few days later to confirm the levels hadn’t dipped too low and at home we treated things like bed rest, very minimal activity for me in those couple of weeks.

At 38 weeks & 6 days I was 4 centimeters dilated and my cervix was “very stretchy”. Because of this, it was an option to go ahead and check into the hospital and augment things a bit to get labor going, but given the success of the membrane sweep with my first pregnancy, I opted for a sweep again and wanted to go home and give it time. My blood pressure was high (thankfully hadn’t been this whole pregnancy until then) so we talked about how I’d likely have to be induced at the following week’s appointment if this continued but given the circumstances, I could very well go into labor before then. And thankfully, I did! 

The next day I woke up very emotional and just really tired - sleep in the third trimester is so rough. Darrell urged me to go back to bed for a while. Contractions began very sporadically that morning and continued into the evening, growing a little longer as the hours passed but still very sporadic. By 6:30pm they were hitting at about 7 minutes apart for a solid hour. I decided the time was NOW to get all of the spring bow samples ready for the photoshoot I needed to send them off to the following week… lol! So I sat at my desk and cranked out 12 bows to pass the time and keep my mind on other things during these early contractions. By about 7:30pm they’d picked up to every 6 minutes and stayed this way until close to 10pm. Given the similarities to my labor with Henry, we knew we wouldn’t be going to bed so Darrell began to pack the car after getting Henry to sleep for the night. 

So around this point, so funny now, but I made Darrell sit on the couch with me and watch a course on “creating family keepsake videos with an iPhone” on 2x speed… not even joking. A hormonal, impulse-purchase I had made a couple weeks prior from a very targeted ad on social had me whipping out my card to buy while waiting in the Dunkin drive thru!! But then it was December and life was crazy and I hadn’t had a chance to watch it but really wanted to before Teddy was born so I could make a cute video of him at the hospital! Darrell joked he felt like he was cramming for a graduate level final LOL but he obliged and watched as much as we could.

By 11pm the contractions were 5 minutes apart and it was time to call my sister to head over so she could be with Henry until Darrell’s mom could get there. 

Around midnight we left for the hospital. I hated the car ride up there. It feels so claustrophobic when you know you have to stay in that position for an extended period of time and the contractions are already at that level. I signed into registration and we were told to wait until a nurse came to take me back. Something about those few minutes of waiting and not going right into the next step hit me hard and I was sobbing in front of this poor young woman in the waiting area. Like I knew what was next and the magnitude of it hit me like a giant ocean wave. 

In the triage area, it was determined I’d gotten to 6 centimeters dilated. I requested a room with one of the tubs and thankfully there was one available. The nurse got the water started for me right away (it was a really big tub and took a long time to fill). She moved me to the delivery room and got my IV started (didn’t have to be hooked) and I got in the tub. I think my contractions were about 3-4 minutes apart at this point and the tub was excellent for helping manage the pain. Darrell made sure the lights stayed dim and started a relaxing/spa music playlist. The contractions were way easier to handle in the tub. My doula Alli arrived a little before 2am and we chatted, with me taking breaks to breathe through contractions as the time passed. A little after 3am I started to squirm and the tears were silently flowing. I was getting very uncomfortable and no matter which way I turned I couldn’t get comfortable. The nurse checked me at this point and I was 9 centimeters dilated. 

Alli suggested maybe I should try the shower as a new option for pain management. Water really helps!!! In the shower, I stared to hit transition and the staff were getting antsy that I needed to get back on the bed. I was crying and very vocal in my struggle to get through the contractions. Darrell helped with counter pressure while Alli talked me through it. I completely broke down in tears at this point. The anxiety was creeping in and the staff were at the bathroom door repeatedly telling us I couldn’t push in the shower and that I needed to make my way back to the bed soon. Alli reassured me I didn’t have to move yet. Around 3:30am I agreed to move to the bed, feeling like it had to be getting close as the pressure was getting so intense. 

That started the most challenging 45 minutes I’ve ever experienced. I tried every position imaginable but nothing was helping the pain. I could get through some of the contractions breathing and listening to Alli speak affirmations over me. My water still hadn’t broke and the doc on call really wanted to break my water to speed things up for the sake of my pain. I wanted it to break on its own and started getting really hung up on the fact that it hadn’t. They told me I needed to stay on the bed but I really felt the need to stand, so I did. On the bed. LOL. The nurses looked at me like I’d lost my mind but I didn’t care. Alli provided birth combs to squeeze through the contractions and I tried to focus on breathing, repeating in my head “God’s perfect design for birth, my body was made for this, God made it this way and it is good, God is good.” I eventually agreed to have my water broke so a nurse went to get the doctor. In the meantime, another nurse said I could try to push to break it on my own. Immediately I gave a big push, and just as the doctor walked in the room, my water broke and shot out from so much pressure. Minutes later and I think 4 pushes total and Teddy was born, a little after 4am! 

Looking back

It was the wildest experience and the biggest adrenaline rush imaginable! I am so glad I chose a natural birth this time and it made such a difference in my recovery - mentally and physically. It was a truly intimate and spiritual experience I am so grateful to have had. This felt like such a feat of my mind and it has given me such a fresh perspective of the power of our thoughts. Thus far, the most empowering experience of my life was birthing Teddy naturally! I am so proud of that birth and how much I overcame in my mind and in physical pain. Women were made for birth!

Things I’d want to do differently

It is a lot easier to look back after having gone through it to know my struggles and weak spots but I do think working on my mobility during pregnancy would’ve helped allow me to try different positions more successfully. I was extremely sedentary in that pregnancy so if I ever get the chance to do this again, I want to put more of my focus on the physical preparation. But do note - I really hadn’t done much to prepare physically and I still had a successful natural birth. Obviously, there are SO MANY factors in each birth that it’s not so simple as to just say “mind over matter” but I do think your mind is one of the first ways you’ll falter in natural birth.

I don’t want to let myself verbalize my self-doubt and negative thoughts, if there’s a next time. I reached a point in transition where I just kept shouting “I can’t do this!” over and over. What I really meant was “I need encouragement.” Thankfully, Alli was so in tune with this and was gently speaking affirmations over me.

And I was so worried about getting caught up in fear and emotions that I didn’t want any music with lyrics played during labor but if there was ever a moment I could’ve used an anthem to help me dig deeper or a psalm to calm my nerves, it was during transition. I would highly recommend you have a few songs ready to pull you up from the screams and the grunts of transition. (Sorry to any of the first time mamas who definitely heard my growling and screaming as I approached that almost-time-to-push stage). It happens. It helps. It is just part of it. Don’t be afraid to let it out, do whatever you’ve got to do.

my recommendation

Get a doula. If you want a natural birth and to have an advocate for YOU, a doula is going to be ideal! I am such a fan of Alli Klever of Hygge Birth Doula if you are local. She made such a profound positive impact on this pregnancy journey, labor and birth. She helped educate Darrell and I so that we could make informed decisions that were best for our family’s needs and desires.